It’s natural to want to spend “every waking moment” with a new girlfriend, especially in the beginning. You are wise to note that you could damage other relationships or distract or annoy her, and that you could be selfish about it as well. I recommend talking with her about her expectations for time spent together, and see what her thoughts are. If this is the beginning of a relationship, resist the temptation to spend too much time together. It would be better to spend more time on the phone, getting to know each other without the distractions of going out and without the physical aspect (i.e. attraction, chemistry) confusing things. If this is the right relationship for you, then you’ll never regret taking your time. If it’s not the right relationship for, you’ll be grateful you didn’t get carried away with it. I would suggest that once or twice a week (on average) is sufficient as far as being together. There is nothing wrong (in my opinion) with talking more frequently on the phone, but I wouldn’t go out more than once or twice a week.

Speed dating can either be great fun or you could see it as a chore that you dread; but you need to meet the right man or the right woman and you feel that this is the most effective and efficient way for you to go about it. Checking out a potential partner before you commit to a proper date can have its benefits! You can always walk away at the end of the exercise. Whether it’s with or without that special someone depends to some degree on how you performed. Here are some speed dating tips for men and women to help you out:

* Be yourself and use your personality to the full. This simply means that you should be relaxed to the extent that your true personality shines through. This is particularly important if you are looking for a long-term relationship. If you put on an act, it will show sooner or later, and probably end in tears.

* You be self-assured but try not to come over as being arrogant.

* Show interest in your partner by making good eye contact and smile with your eyes. This can make you appear more attractive to the other person because they have 100% of your attention. If you can make them feel that they are the only person in the room, then that is not a bad thing.

* Ask questions that matter to you, depending on your reasons for being on a speed date. Remember that time is limited so it is best to think about the questions that you want to ask beforehand and memorise them. Make sure that the questions are not asked in an intimidating way. Try to make them conversational.

* Always think long term. I was given this advice many years ago “don’t go out with someone you do not want to end up spending the rest of your life with”. It seems pretty sound advice to me, if you are looking for a serious long term relationship.

* Keep maintaining eye contact but at the same time, watch the other’s body language. You will be surprised how much you can learn from another’s body language.

* Go with your intuition; never ignore it because invariably it is right most of the times, if we honestly reflect back. If it doesn’t feel right, then it’s probably not right for you so move on.

* Finally, should it not work out on the night, don’t be dejected. At least you would have gained valuable experience from which to assess other potential partners.